Excerpt:
Chapter 1
They were there
in the shadows again. This was the third time this week I had thought someone
was watching me. The last few weeks, I’d heard the rustling of leaves and the
crackling sound of old fallen branches beneath someone’s feet, or the hairs at
the back of my neck would stand straight because I knew someone stood silently
behind me.
Last night wasn’t
any different. I exited my car after an exhausting day at work and heard what
sounded like a low, deep exhale coming from the forest next to Lily’s house. I
swiftly turned around, fumbling with the flashlight on my phone, but when the
light pierced the darkness, the sound stopped.
Tonight, it was a
silhouette behind my aunt Lily’s fence in the backyard. It wasn’t someone walking
by with their dog or a neighbor taking out their trash. They were standing
there, staring, as I walked to the sink to rinse my dinner bowl. I wasn’t going
to tell her again. She’d just tell me what she’d told me last time I brought it
up. She’d say I was just seeing things and that it was normal to feel this way
after trauma.
“Your turn,
Mercy,” Lily said. Her voice pulled my gaze from the window.
“I’m coming,” I
said, taking one last glance toward the silhouette.
They were gone.
Maybe I am
imagining things.
Lily tucked her
short, brown strands behind her left ear and took a sip of her red wine,
gripping her glass firmly, while her index finger tapped gently and
rhythmically on the side of the slender wine glass.
Waiting patiently
for me to finish my turn were Shannon and Cami, my two best girlfriends, and my
ex-boyfriend, Riley. A brief glance at the clock told me we had been playing
for over three hours. My head fogged over, and my lower back ached from sitting
for so long.
I gripped the
dice in my hand before sitting back down and looked around the table. I
wondered what my friends would think if they only knew what was happening with
me. Would they respond like Lily had? Or would they believe me?
I had known Riley
since we were little kids, and I’d known Cami and Shannon since cheerleading
camp our freshmen year. I could trust them, right?
The truth was, a
small part of me still envied what my friends had, that I no longer did. At one
point, I had looked forward to dressing up for a night out, being the popular
girl at our school, and I held the confidence I needed to walk in with my head
held high as we crashed someone’s party. That wasn’t me anymore. I wasn’t
frumpy by any means. I was blessed with good genes. I had my mom’s long, dark
brown hair, emerald eyes, and a tall, slender figure. But now, I was happy in a
T-shirt and ripped jeans because I no longer cared what anyone thought. I was
now the shadow lurking behind my friends, and I was okay with that.
Shannon
straightened her back once I sat down and pulled her raven-black hair to the
side, wrapping it into a braid against her dark, olive skin, and batted her
fake lashes at us before stifling a yawn.
I stretched out
my legs, took a deep breath, and gave my cards a once-over. I just needed to roll
an eight.
Cami’s thick,
long locks fell over her face, and she let out an exhausted breath to blow it
away. “I can’t keep my eyes open anymore.” She grabbed her water, took a swig,
and glanced down at her phone, checking the time.
“I’ll drive your car,”
Shannon said, “my energy drink is doing its job keeping me alive right now.”
Riley flashed me
a handsome grin as I rolled the dice a few times in my palm.
As I went to toss
them, I hesitated. The tingling feeling in my fingertips had returned. It felt
like electricity vibrating violently under my fingernails. I had to pull my
hands close to my body to conceal it and shut it off. Something had been
happening to me, and it all started around the time I felt someone’s eyes on
the back of my head.
I glanced around
the table one last time, pulled myself together, and gently tossed the two
dice, so they didn’t roll off the table. One die landed right in front of me,
showing five red dots, and the other landed in front of Riley.
“It’s a three.”
Riley beamed.
An eight!
“Dang it!”
Shannon tossed the remaining cards onto the table. “Surprise, surprise. Mercy
wins again.”
I applauded
myself and moved my hips from side to side in a victory dance while I grabbed
the last Battle-Star, which would earn me the final, winning point. Once I
placed my Battle-Star down on the table, Riley grabbed my knee, and my leg
jerked to the side at his touch. I looked up at his boyish face as a small
crease formed in his brow. Thankfully, everyone else was so preoccupied with
cleaning up their game pieces, no one had noticed. I leaned in toward Riley.
“We need to talk.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“I know,” I
snapped. “We still need to talk.”
“Sorry.” His
voice cracked, and he lowered his head. This absolutely killed me. Riley was
the nicest guy I had ever known, and I was crushing his spirit.
What is wrong
with me?
Shannon looked
over at us. “Sorry for what?”
“Nothing,” I
responded before he could say anything.
He stood up from
the table and calmly walked out the backdoor. I hesitated, deciding not to
follow him.
I’ll give him
a minute.
Cami looked
around the room at everyone. “What’s with him?”
Lily, too, had
been watching the awkward encounter, and she stood. “Do you girls care for
anything else to eat?” She placed the lid on the game box and gestured toward
the pot of homemade chili she had cooked for us. This was her obvious attempt
to distract everyone from what had just happened.
“We’re good,
Lily. Thank you,” Cami responded for them both as she handed Shannon her keys.
Shannon gripped
the keys tight in her fist and turned to face me while pulling her purse over
her shoulder. “Are you joining us tomorrow?”
“Yeah. Just not
too early. I want to sleep in.” I sounded whinier than I meant to. Shannon
always scheduled our Thursday morning breakfast meetups for eight in the
morning since graduation.
“I really need to
go, guys. I have to put my mom to bed,” Cami said as she tapped her foot on the
tile floor of the entryway. Cami’s mom, Laurie, was an alcoholic. I honestly
couldn’t recall if I had ever seen her without a bottle of booze in her hand,
and she often drank herself into a senseless stupor.
“Where do you
guys want to meet?” I asked.
“Probably Tippy’s
Pancake House. It just opened last weekend,” Cami answered.
I looked at her
and tilted my head. “Tippy as in Ryan ‘Tippy’ Harrison?”
“Yeah, I guess he
figured out what he was going to do with all those royalty checks from that
song he wrote a few years back—open a pancake house. His grandma Joanne tracked
us down on Main last week and told us we had to go opening week to support him.
So, we’re going.”
“Well, good for
him. And, yes, that works,” I said.
Shannon glanced
over toward the window facing the backyard where Riley waited for me. “Call me
if you need me.” Shannon offered me an empty wish of good luck with a strained
smile and a shrug, as if to express how uncomfortable she knew the moment would
be for Riley and me.
“I’ll fill you in
at breakfast. Riley has a job working on Miss Darla’s car, so he won’t be
there.”
Cami moved past
Shannon to give me a warm hug, but I tensed. I always hid my discomfort when
someone touched me. Someday, I hoped I’d get better, but in this moment, I
wasn’t ready. After Cami released me, Shannon followed her lead and came in for
a hug. I took a deep breath in and counted to five in my head. As I slowly let
out my breath, she released me from the suffocating embrace. They walked toward
Cami’s car, and I sent them off with a wave.
Closing the door
behind them, I secured the bottom lock and strolled into the kitchen to see if
Lily needed help cleaning up. I knew she’d tell me not to bother, but I always
offered anyway.
“Do you need help
with anything?” I asked.
Turning to face
me, she said, “I’ve got this covered. Go see Riley. He’s been waiting, hun. You
can’t avoid him forever.”
She was right. I
was stalling. Riley had more patience with me than I ever could have with
anyone. I made him feel uncomfortable because he accidentally made me feel
uncomfortable, but still, he was willing to wait for me to lecture him about not
touching me.
While giving her
a forced smile and a nod, I moved toward the door that led to the backyard.
